Yellowstone

Day 3:

We woke up early, this was our day in Yellowstone. Pete and Michelle, being the model hosts that they are, had planned a day full of suggested activities and sights. The kids were as excited as we were, so getting everyone ready in a hurry was no challenge. Yellowstone national park, if you haven't been there, is a miraculous gem of topographical diversity. Mountains, plains, canyons, cliffs, rivers, springs, geysers, waterfalls, deer, bison, bears, elk, all intermingling in a symbiotic melange.

First, we played in 'the Boiling River'. At this particular spot, the freezing-gushing-rushing Yellowstone River is joined by a boiling hot spring, which results in a point of temperature perfectly created for human enjoyment. The challenge and enjoyment is in finding the spot, and hanging on to it. One step to the left, you freeze. One step to the right, you scald. And there we stood, teetering on that precipice between ecstasy and suffering, soaking in the morning sun.

Soon after, Pete and Michelle headed off, and Delta and I were left to our own elements. Laughingly referring to ourselves as Lewis and Clark, we decided to head off the beaten road, along one of the wooded trails. Pete had given us his can of bearspray, to protect us from the grizzlies. I find it somewhat odd that even my can of mosquito repellent at home is larger and more fierce looking than this bear spray - but oh well, who am I to judge. We had already been walking for some time, when I suddenly stopped in my tracks. "Where's that can of bear spray?!"

"Don't worry, I have it with me," Delta assured me, indicating his bagpack.

"Erm, do you think we should be keeping it in some place more handy than the bottom of your bagpack, hidden under all the nutrigrain bars?"

And that's how we were, urban hillbillies misplaced in the woods.

We'd almost reached the end of the trail when we decided to sit down for a while, and just enjoy the view. It was a soothing scene, high up there in the mountains, with the expansive lake glinting azur far below us. Just as we realised it was getting late and we ought to head back, we suddenly heard a deep growl, just a few feet away.

We froze.

An unmistakable, distinctive, bear-growl.

And yet I asked Delta, with naive hopefullness, "Did you hear anything? Was it the wind?"

Both of us were wide-eyed in terror. Delta whipped out his bear spray and held it before us. Tentatively, we took a further step along the trail.

Another growl, this time louder, more threatening. Almost a roar. We couldn't see the animal through the woods, but there was no mistaking the sound.

The only thing we really knew about avoiding bears was to talk loudly, so that they heard you coming and you didn't surprise them. Bit too late to apply in this situation, and yet it was all we could resort to. "Should we head back home, then?" Delta asked me loundly.

"Yep, definitely, and let's keep talking about it," I hollered back, for the bear's benefit. Let me tell you, when you're scared witless it's really difficult to think of things to say. Even for yackamouth me.

Another growl.

The only option was to head back down the trail. Initially, in the direction of the bear, until we passed it and continued onwards on the trail. We continued talking. We continued taking tentative steps. It continued growling. Delta continued waving the can of bearspray before him. My heart continued pounding in my ears. One step after the next. After the next. Talking over the growls, trying to stay calm.

And suddenly we entered a clearing, and the growls got fainter, and then stopped altogether. We had apparently passed the area which the bear considered it's threatened territory. We stood there in the clearing, trembling in fright and relief. My knees had lost all motor control, and knocked against each other wobblingly. Then quietly, quickly, we started a speedy return towards the car.

We saw other scenes after that, which would have normally clean knocked the socks off me. Canyons and geysers of unimaginable splendour. And yet, the rest of the day seemed to skim by in a blur.