Man vs. nature

The other day we were all sitting having a picnic lunch in Madison Square Park, under the shade of a tree. All of a sudden we noticed a shower of little tree-stuff falling on us - you know, berries, twigs, leaves, etc. We looked up, and noticed there was a squirrel parked in a branch directly over our heads, merrily munching its way through whatever squirrels munch on, blissfully unaware of the bunch of disgruntled picnickers it was leaving in its wake.

I waved my arms at it, in an ineffectual attempt to shoo it away. But high as it was, I doubt it even noticed our distant scramblings.
"Go away, Squirrel!" Bobbis shouted. Erm, ahem. Unsurprisingly, that had little effect either (other than eliciting weird glances from the picnickers nearby).
"Make it go away!" Mals shouted, as another berry fell on her head.
Now, I find squirrels just as cute as the next person. But surely this one was just being obstreperous. The naughty kid of the family. The messy eater of the family.

So in a valiant effort to rescue Mals, I balled up my paper napkin, and aimed it at the squirrel. The idea being, of course, to startle it enough that it would run to another part of the branch, and continue eating there in peace (possibly bringing grief to other picnickers?). The squirrel was some twenty feet or so over our heads, so throwing the paper ball that high would require a feat of human fortitude. Concentrating all my strength into my pitcher's arm, I heaved the ball upwards, towards the unsuspecting squirrel.

Eeks. The ball went a bit faster than expected. I guess I'm a bit stronger than expected, huh. It rocketed through the air, torpedoing towards the squirrel, as we all watched in anticipatory horror.

It hit a bunch of leaves right by the squirrel (no, it didn't hit the squirrel and knock it off the tree, silly!). There was a sudden squeak, a flurry of branches, the sound of pattering feet, and suddenly the squirrel was gone. Silence. Peace. Man had won the Battle of Squirrels.

And then suddenly a shriek from Mals. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeekkkkk!!!!!"

She was looking down at her arm. "What happened?!" we asked.
"The squirrel got so scared I think it peed on me!"
And there it was, an unmistakable puddle of wetness on her arm.
The squirrel had gotten scared and peed on Mals.

That's the thing with nature, it sure knows how to get us back, where we least expect it.

This weekend, a bunch of us are going camping on an island off the coast of Connecticut. Cut off from the mainland, it'll just be the ten of us on an island, fending for ourselves in the wild, just like our original forefathers (what, you mean cavemen didn't barbecue their burgers on a George Foreman?).

A true feat of man and nature, living together the original way, as life had intended. I just wish there were toilets, that's all.