Resolutions, for what they're worth

I'm not quite sure why I make resolutions for myself each year, given my poor track record for success. Still, they fill me with hope, I suppose. Anyways, no harm done in lofty aspirations, right?

Last year, I made three resolutions, which I wrote on a large yellow post-it and stuck it on my office closet at work. I figured that way I would see it every morning, and hopefully it would automatically get absorbed into my everyday life through some form of behavioural osmosis. What I'd forgotten to take into account is how little I actually look at my closet (and therefore at the post it). I guess that's what to blame for my little failures this year - the wrong place I stuck the post it.

Resolutions for 2007:
- Be healthier: dubious success. I mean, I quit my gym right at the beginning of 2007, probably a week after making the resolution. But then again I started walking to work, and on those days that I'm not accosted by giraffes, I feel I do make my life infinitesimally healthier. Also started drinking coffee through a straw, which works to my social detriment, but in the long run Simmer has promised me it makes for whiter teeth.

- Swear less: moderate success. I've curbed my swearing from external expletives to a little angry woman shouting in my head, which might very well one day explode, but for the benefit of the rest of the world yonder, I'm calm as a cucumber. I say 'moderate success' because the other day I was in Richie Rich's office and I clean forgot he was in there with me. I received an email of some consternation, and immediately shouted, "shite shite shite shite shite!"

There was a moment of silence. Then, "wow that's the first time I've heard you swear," Richie Rich commented. Which is testament to my success, I suppose, in its own muted way.

- Be more sensible: abject failure. There is no evidence over the past year of increased sensibleness (grown-upness?) from my side, instead I've come to further embrace the joys of insensibilities, which means this objective is off the agenda and therefore no longer relevant. Look how that worked out, a win-win.

Now what in the world am I going to resolve to accomplish (or fail to) in 2008?! I'm tempted to say 'learn Spanish', but given my track record, it does appear that if I make this my resolution then I likely won't accomplish it, and I really do want to learn Spanish.

A catch 22. Sigh.