Red, White and Blue

Yesterday, I went for my US Citizenship interview. I wasn't sure what to expect really, and despite everyone's assurances that this wasn't rocket science, I worked myself up into a bit of a tizzy anyway. That's just the way it goes with tests of any kind. If you're a product of the Indian education system, you know what I mean.

As has always been my experience with the USCIS, I was interviewed by a very kindly officer. She went through all the details of my application, inspecting each area of my life with a fine-toothed combs, only just barely stopping short of asking about my highschool boyfriends. Not that I minded, frankly it's sometimes cathartic to ramble on about oneself in general.


"Ok, now we have to go through a civics test, you ready?" she asked me.
I nodded. I had studied the material. I was reasonably prepared.
She asked me a few questions and I shot answers back at her, like a rapid-fire quiz.
"Who's the speaker of the house?"
"Pelosi"
"How many members are there in the house of representatives?"
"435"
"When was the Declaration of Independence signed?"
"1776"

And so it went for a while, and I started to feel pretty comfortable with the whole ordeal. And then suddenly, a question that through me for a loop.
"What are the two longest waivers in the US?"
Huh? I blinked. I swallowed. "Pardon?"
"What are the two longest waivers in the US?"
Waivers? I couldn't think of any waivers - let alone long ones. And forget about knowing the longest! Were waivers long? I had no clue.
"Erm, I don't know," I mumbled softly.

But she only smiled. "Can you name any of the waivers in the US?" she asked, encouragingly.
I racked my brain for any mention of any waiver I might have ever heard of, but my mind came up empty. Nada.
"Sorry I don't know any" I said, disappointed.

Crap! Was I going to lose out on citizenship because of a couple of waivers?!
But she wasn't ready to give up on me yet, bless her kindly heart.
"Come on, you must no some waivers."
I shook my head miserably.
"Do you know what a waiver is?"
And suddenly, of course, I wasn't sure anymore. Had I misunderstood what a waiver was, my entire life?
"Not in this context, not really". A mild panic came over me.

She handed me her book where the question was written. "Here, read this," she offered.


And there it was, plainly in print: What are the two longest rivers in the US?


"Oh!" I slapped my forehead. "RIVERS! You mean two longest rivers!" I exclaimed in relief.
She looked at me blankly. "That's what I said. The two longest waivers in the US."

And so, it turned out, it was just an accent thing.


No need for panic folks, it appears after that little false alarm, that I am through.