Bellyaching

For the past three days, I've been suffering a distinct pain in my abdomen.

Not the sort of pain that comes from ingesting lettuce inhabited by e.coli. No, I know that kind of pain intimately, and could identify it precisely down to the specific ingredient.

No, the kind of pain I have is of a dull, throbbing sort. A somewhat more nether pain, pulsing in the grey matter that exists between my ribs and my hips.

Caused by a ruptured spleen, maybe. Or an abdominal tumour. Or (and I shudder to say it), just excessive overeating. Chronically excessive overeating.