To all things cheesy

For the first time in months, I had a pretty light afternoon yesterday, so I invited Delta over to catch up over a glass of wine and a leisurely lunch. We ambled over to nearby Pastis and seated ourselves comfortably at one of outdoor tables, with the sunshine pleasantly warming our shoulders.

Delta and I had just concluded a long and passionate rant about our mutual distaste for cheese, cream and butter. "Infact all milk products!" I declared emphatically, giving an involuntary shudder. "Especially butter!" he added in agreement. "Ewwww," I wrinkled my nose.

Just then the waitress approached us with the dessert specials. "Well today we have a cheese platter, which includes brie, swiss, cammembert and...". Who woulda' thunk.
After she went through her entire list, Delta, with mock attentiveness, asked her, "I didn't quite catch that, could you please go through the list again?". She went through the list again, bless her heart.
"You were just saying how you love cheese," I grinned at Delta, purely for the waitress' benefit. "Why don't you get something...?"
"Why you must be getting confused," he smiled back sweetly. "It was you who said cammembert was your favourite..."

I wish I could say I was quickthinking enough to come back with a witty rejoinder. Instead, I'm afraid to admit, I just gawked. And then we burst out laughing, tickled pink at our own theatrics, while the waitress shook her head in mock despair and headed off.

And so, in honour of our mutual distaste for all things cheesy and creamy, a little poem:

Non-ode to cheese
Oh ye evil yellow (or blue or white) spawn of cow
People love you so (weirdos) - but how?
Perhaps I too would not be so picky
If you weren't so stringy, stretchy and sticky
Invading the world in which we wake
Ruining pizza, pasta and chocolate cheesecake
Oh ye evil yellow (or blue or white) spawn of cow
Please don't hate me if I shun you for now