Kiltman

We were all hanging out in Doobie's room, shootin' the breeze before the Roger Waters concert. Dougal had somehow managed to acquire tickets for us at the last minute, so there was a general feel of excitement and spontaneous thrill in the air.

"So what kind of a name is Dougal anyway?" someone asked, and we all turned to stare at Dougal questionningly.
"Erm, I think its a Scottish name, not sure where it comes from," Dougal mumbled, as he always tends to do when the subject of his name emerges (which it inevitably does often).
"Oh, I know!" I input brightly. I already had automatic authority and street cred bestowed upon me by virtue of having lived in the UK and this being a Scottish name. "A Dougal is a kind of kilt, isnt it?" Of course this was far from the truth. Of course I'd just plucked the first Scottish item that entered my mind. Sometimes, I don't know where this mental skittishness comes from.

There was a marked silence. Dougal, rough and outdoorsy character that he be, was decidedly unimpressed with his being likened to a kilt.

"No," he said, in disbelief. "That can't be!"
"Sure," I insisted persuasively. "Everyone who lives in the UK knows a dougal is a kind of kilt! Infact, its one of those designer cashmere kilts," I added with a sly grin, knowing this would be even more horrifying for him.
"I don't want to be a cashmere kilt!" he grumbled. "Ficali, are you messing with me?"
"Hey, if I was messing with you I'd have called you bagpipes, wouldn't I?"
He was still suspicious. Frankly, I'm surprised I could instil even an iota of belief. But there you go, I guess not everyone is as streetwise as yours truly. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, "I'm going to google that when I get home,".
I shrugged with feigned nonchalance. That's my fallback reaction when I don't trust my mouth to speak without laughing.

The next morning, when I checked my email, there was a note from Dougal, prompt and early: "After having done comprehensive internet research, I can say with 100% certainty that a dougal is not a scottish kilt."

Hardly to be dissuaded by such gentle rebuffs, I found myself wondering whether a dougal did actually mean anything. So I searched it on my handy ready-reckoner, www.urbandictionary.com.

Didn't really expect it to have a meaning.

But what do you know - here's what came up: A dougal: a klutz, or someone who takes a longggg time to do something that would normaly take seconds.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dougal

Poor chap! I'd have rathered believe I was named after a kilt, methinks! Oh, how its sometimes just best to let sleeping dogs lie.