Too much "Law and Order"

Tuesday night, I'd just returned home from dinner with Queen Noor, had indulged in a long (and rather monologous) conversation with Queen Jaffa, and was all set for bed. Delta had left for his trip earlier that afternoon and would be gone for the next two days, so it was just me and Queen Jaffa flying solo. We got into the typical argument over who gets the pillow, which resolved itself in the same way as it always does (I got the pillow, but she got more than half the bed).

It wasn't long before I'd drifted into sound sleep.

Ding-dong.

I sat up bolt upright, jolted out of deep sleep with a shock. Was that the doorbell? Or had I dreamt it? Glanced over at the clock, it was 2.00am. Total silence for a moment, and then there it was again.

Ding-dong.

Who could it be? And should I open the door? All sorts of horrifying imagery from entered my mind. In that split second, I had no idea what to do. On the one hand, it could be an emergency, a neighbour in trouble. I should go check. On the other, it could be a serial killer, and I shouldn't even approach the door. My heart was thumping so loud, I couldn't hear myself think.

I jumped out of bed and stood stock still in the bedroom, paralyzed with fear.

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.

And then a rational thought occurred to me. No matter who was at the door, friend or foe, I needed to have clothes on. As quickly as possible through the cobwebs of my sleep, I pulled on a shoddy sartorial ensemble to maintain womanly decency.

Ding-dong, ding-dong.
There was a decided sense of urgency to the ring. Causing a decided sense of panic in ye ol' soul.

Finally, I came up with a plan. I'd call the doorman downstairs and see if he wouldn't mind coming up to check which psycho person was clanging away at my door. Picked up my phone, and suddenly noticed I had a voicemail. From Delta, at 1.59am, just before the ringing had started.

"There were mechanical problems, I couldn't fly tonight, I'm back home," it said.

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.
Oops, I realised, it was just Delta. And still I headed to the door tentatively.
"Delta, is that you?" I asked the closed door.
"Yes, of course, open the door already!"

And so it was, after all that panic, turned out it was just my husband, thank gawd. My husband, thwarted from entry into his own home by the deadbolt I had the door. My husband, who had to ring the doorbell a zillion times. While his own wife sat panicking in the bedroom, unwilling to open the door.