Adrift and floundering

As we caught up for one of our regular tete-a-tetes yesterday, Milo mentioned to me, "Over the last three months, you've changed so much about yourself from the way you were when I first met you. The changes might all individually seem really small and superficial, but they're probably reflective of a more fundamental change in your personality."

His comment startled me, and has set me examining myself and the ways in which I've changed since moving to New York. Over the whirlwind of the past two months I have:

- Found a new job
- Made new friends (and earned a new nickname - and inexplicably, something as simple as a new name can sometimes make you a new person)
- Had a shot for the first time
- Had a pint of beer for the first time
- Started eating chicken wings (!!!!! At first it was 'just this once'. But after the third 'just this once' yesterday, I think I now have to call myself a vegetarian who eats seafood and chicken wings. So not quite a vegetarian then)
- Moved into a new apartment with new roommates

Milo was right - on the face of it, they're all superficial changes. But somehow, they've been working together, insidiously, subtlely, to gradually change the person I was. Not quite sure what the changes are, I can't quite put my finger on them. Something along the lines of more hardworking, more friendly, less shy, more adventurous, more carefree, more fun-loving, more light-hearted and less serious.

I'm not quite sure if those are accurate, but at the moment that's the best I can come up with. All I know is that on the whole, I'm a somewhat different person today than I was even a couple of months ago. Without the decency of a warning, something fundamental in me has changed. Or maybe its just the frame of reference within which I live that has altered transformed itself, and with it my bearings.

The more I think about it, the more I feel like I might be floundering.