Yesss!!!! I knew it!

Today, I realised, I have the ability to turn invisible.

I was strolling through the supermarket to pick up lunch this afternoon. Drifting innocently down one of the aisles, when a passerby thwocked me one in the eye with her elbow. Not an accidental passing graze, but a full-on collision as though she didn't even know I'd been there. She was bigger than me, so I didn't say anything. Oh boy, I've learnt the rules of this world.

Turned round the corner, still rubbing my eye, when a woman wielding a pram almost ran me over. Gone are the days when I used to look at a woman with a pram and think 'oh how cute'.

Finally, I reached the soup counter (relatively) unscathed. Well, alive, at any rate.

Reached out to get my daily soup (turkey chilli and a seven grain dinner roll, my new standard lunch). And a man approached from behind me and simply cut me off, elbowing me out of the way and hogging the soup tureen himself. I mean, what. It's not like the worlds supply of turkey chilli is running out, you know.

And then it occurred to me, wouldn't it be funny if the reason people kept bumping into me was that I was invisible? I chuckled out loud.

Grabbing my soup and dinner roll, I headed to the cashier to check out.
"Hello," I greeted the girl at the cash register, with a friendly grin.
No response.
She scanned my goodies, and as she put them in the bag, I handed her my credit card. "Credit, please," I said helpfully.
No response.
She handed me the bag, and I signed the cheque. "All right, see you later, have a good one!"
No response.

How rude, I thought at first. And then, suddenly, I stopped short in my tracks. OMG I really AM invisible!!

On the way back to the office, a car almost ran me over. Bumped right into my leg. Not that I was jay-walking, nope it was my right of way. Just that the driver felt like barraging right through me I suppose. I raised my fist in anger, but to be honest, I'm not sure he could actually see me over the hood of the car if truth be told. That's the thing with being a diminutive soul. But more than that, this to me was the final bit of proof that I had turned invisible.

I reached work in a panic. Called Delta.
"I think I'm invisible."
"No you can't be, I can hear you."

Hmm. Glad I feel reassured now.