Relationship advice

I was catching up with Metro yesterday afternoon.
"So, what's the latest in your dating life?" I asked him.
"Well, funny you should ask. I dated two guys this past weekend."
My eyebrows shot up. Two? Tell me more.
"One guy's a business fella. Swiss. Not that there's anything wrong with Swiss, but, you know, it's a different kettle of fish. And the other guy is a journalist at the New York Times."

I didn't miss a beat. "Go for the journalist." I said.
"Why? You don't like Swiss peops?"
"Nothing's wrong with the Swiss, silly. Just that the other guy is a journalist at NY Times. He's got to be interesting by default."


Metro thought about that for a bit.
"He uses a lot of exclamation marks, though."
What.
"Are you serious? I'm going to have to take everything back. No serious writer uses exclamation marks. Exclamation marks are only for teenage girls." (And African languages.)
"Teenage girls and gay men," Metro corrected.


I thought about that for a bit.
"He also uses capslock for emphasis," Metro added, laying all his doubts on the table.
"Does he dot his "i"s with hearts?" I asked, full of trepidation.
"He can't, luckily these are text messages."
"Go with the Swiss guy."