Awe-struck

Walking through Central Park over the weekend, I saw the horses and started reminiscing about all the horse-riding I used to do as a child. I recalled how, even as a ten year old child, I used to wake up at 5.30 each morning so I could put in an hour of horse-riding before school. And I was impressed by my own childhood tenacity.

And then it suddenly registered how, even for my ten year old childhood whim, Mum and Dad used to wake up at 5.30 each morning just to take me horse-riding. And I was awed by how giving they had been. Could I ever be such an encouraging and supportive parent? Forget parenting. Could I even be such a supportive person?? Five thirty every morning. Seven days a week. I was in awe of the way they had so easily, without hesitation or complaint, given up so much to support my childhood hobby. I was in awe of how they'd never reminded me of it since and called back on the favour. In awe in general of what naturally good parents they were.

And just when I was about to out-awe myself, they called on the phone.
"We've just adopted a little girl!"
"You can't just do that without consulting with your real children first," I argued. Instantly protective of my territory. Selflessness is still unatainable to me.
"She was an orphaned child on the streets outside where we work. We've adopted her, put her in one of the best child care centers we can find, and are donating towards her education so she gets the full education she needs. We were worried about her being forced into childhood prostitution..."
"How old?"
"Five."
"Can you visit?"
"Yes of course."
"Oh.... wow, that's amazing."
"Yes, yes it is."
"That's mind-blowing."
"Yes, yes it is."
"Wow... that's phenomenal." (My coping mechanisms and faculty for articulation were failing me. As usual.)
"Uhm, yes it is."
"I ... oh, wow."