Living dangerously

The other day, just as Bobbis and I were commiserating with each other about our sweltering apartment, the pleasant UPS fellow delivered the new AC I had bought. When I call him pleasant, I don't say so lightly, because I couldn't think of how else to describe someone who can haul an AC up a five-floor walk-up and still deliver with a smile.

Once we'd gotten over the momentary excitement and elation of having an AC in our possession, it dawned on us pretty quickly that we had no idea how to install it, and even if we had known, we couldn't even lift the darned thing.

I let out an audibly worried sigh, entirely intended for Delta's ears, seeing as he was lounging about the place aimlessly anyways. Delta, who astutely picked up on my subtle hint, gave an audible sigh himself. And then (thankfully) set about being the man and doing the right thing (ie took care of everything to install the AC for us). For which, of course, we are eternally grateful.

And I was introduced to a new New York snippet of knowledge: the Window AC.
The Window AC, which looks like a carton and weighs like a ton, is fit into the window and then held in place only by the sliding down window pane itself. No fancy installation, no supporting beams. Nope, just raise the window pane, fit the AC into the open space, and then jam down the pane on top of the AC so that it doesn't have room to fall out. And it balances there like that, 90% of its ponderous weight hanging off your window ledge. Five floors above the street outside.

Does that sound secure to you??!!!

I looked at the new AC dubiously.
"That's it?" I asked Delta. "Doesn't that look unstable? What if it falls out?"
Delta glanced at me in alarm. "It won't, of course. Because you're not going to raise the window are you? Not even an inch. ARE you?"
I shook my head.
"Because if you do," he continued, "it will surely fall down five floors onto the head of a passerby below."
Suddenly I didn't want the AC right in my window anymore. It seemed like having a nuke in my bedroom or something.

Yesterday, as I walked to work, I stopped in a narrow street, buildings towering on either side of me. Glanced up at each building, the smooth walls divided into contiguous squares of windows, like vertical waffles. And in each window, a little AC overhanging the street, waiting to fall out. Instinctively I stepped towards the road, away from the building beside me, incase one should fall on my head. And realised I was almost in firing distance from the building on the other side.

The only safe place to walk now, if you ask me, is bang in the middle of the road.