Self Gratification

This morning I woke up in somewhat of a grump.

It might have had something to do with the fact that Queen Jaffa thought it entirely legitimate to wake me up at 5.30 just because she was hungry. I gave her a bit of a talking to, but as is always the case, it was to no avail.

By the time I reached work this morning, I had already been up for a few hours. The first hour at work is normally spent gently shaking off the cobwebs of my sleep-fuzzed mind, so this kind of awakeness came as something of a rude shock. Not to mention I was hot, and bothered, and hungry, and I hadn't even logged into my email yet.

So I snuck into Metro's office and stole his pad of blue post-its, which I'd been coveting for a few weeks now. I mean, why have my yellow post-its (normal) when I could have his blue ones (spesh-ul). So I sneakily helped myself to them. He's on vacation for a week, and you know how it goes. Ya snooze ya lose.

Brought them into my office and put them right there in the middle of my desk where I could gaze at them in admiration and distraction.

And I'm feeling much better now, thanks.

Hoisted by my own petard

Last night for dinner, Delta baked us pizzas as is our Sunday ritual.

"Make sure you wait five minutes, they're hot!" he warned, as he pulled them out the oven and set them on the table before us.

But I was so hungry, and the pizzas just looked so inviting. (Besides, waiting for food to cool is for chickens and sissies). So while he was watching telly, I snuck a little nibble. Didn't seem that hot. So I shoved a whole hunk of it into my mouth in one greedy gobble.

And oh my gawd, I have never experienced heat of this intensity in my life. "You ok?" Delta asked. But I could only gasp and weep like a leaky faucet. Not unlike the time I'd shoved a handful of wasabi peas into my mouth, but we don't like to refer to that incident anymore.

I discovered this morning, once I had regained enough sensitivity in my mouth to actually do a quick poke-around with my tongue, that I had scalded a fair share of the upper mandible. I wasn't too worried about it, I guess I knew that in the long run, it would heal. Or else, Death by Pizza I suppose was not a bad way to go.

Then with much awaited excitement this afternoon, I picked up my subway sandwich for lunch. Subway is my fallback when Metro isn't available to have lunch with. Of course, I have my grievances with Subway (they have a 5$ footlong but no discount for the six inchers - I mean, what's that about), but it is what it is. I picked up my sub, packed it with Baked Lays in typical infantile fashion, and shoved it in my mouth with all the excitement of a five year old.

And - ow, ow, ouch. All nine grains in that 9-grain bread, and every chip I'd stuffed into the sandwich, poked at the roof of my mouth with suspicious enthusiasm. It felt as though grenades were bursting like pop rocks in my mouth.

But as I've long since learnt, when I've been hoisted by my own petard, there's not much to do but keep mum about it. Especially when it hurts the mouth to do otherwise.

A moment of triumph

I have long-since waited for this moment to finally arrive. People are finally talking and uniting together on one common purpose - what a pain in the butt Lou Dobbs is.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/02/lou-dobbs-a-publicity-nig_n_249466.html

I normally steer clear of politics and other such offensive sensibilities on this blog - but this time, just this once, I simply can't resist. Lou Dobbs has long ruled my life, just by the fact that I am compelled to change the channel each time he comes on. No other show forces my hand to such decisive and immediate action. Then again, no other TV show quite stimulates my gag reflex either.

In fairness to Dobbs, it's hard to watch the news anywhere nowadays, without getting infuriated. And there's certainly a lot to get agitated about. No doubt, I'll continue to be infuriated at the news each time I put the TV on.

But that's for tomorrow. Today, I just want to celebrate with my new-found community on our mutual disinterest in Dobbs.