Don't we just love blind dates

I was out to dinner with Ximmix the other day, and riveting though our conversation was, I noticed one of my ears straying wontonly towards the conversation on the neighbouring table. There was a couple sitting there, and there was an air of awkward discomfort about them that immediately caught my attention.

My social acuity, usually M.I.A., this time stepped in to suss out the situation pretty quickly. It was a first-date situ, and they obviously didn't know each other very well. In fact, by the way each of them was grappling for conversation and commonality, I'm pretty sure it was a blind date situ.

"So," said Coolboy, putting on the smirk people often wear when they know they're about to embark on a tale that will leave their companion in awe. "This past summer, I was in Spain, and it was, like, SO cool. I mean, there were parties everywhere. Man, we went, like, to Barcelona and Madrid and then San..."

Something in Shygirl's look wiped the smirk off his face and made him trail off.
"I don't really like to travel," she said, looking down.

"Oh." There was a long pause, almost to the point of an awkward silence. The waiter brought their food and they both thanked him too loudly and too quickly.
Come on, kids, I thought, you can do better than that.

"So," he made a second attempt, "Don't you like this restaurant? Have you been to the other one just like it, in the Village, I forget what it's called..."
"I don't really like Chinese food," she said.

WHAT, I felt indignant for Coolboy, Who says that on a date in a Chinese restaurant.

I could feel Coolboy's rising panic. They had only just started dinner, so there was at least another hour before one could make a dignified retreat.

"So what do you do outside of work?" he asked.
"Not much," Shygirl said, with a shrug. "You know, there's always chores on the weekends."

Another long pause.

I, of course, was tickled pink. Maybe partially because this scene had played out exactly the horrific stereotype I had built in my head of blind dates. And partially out of sheer relief that it wasn't me in their spot.

But then the silence went on for so long my attitude graduated from amusement to empathy. I couldn't just leave them there to stew in stony silence.

"So," I said to Ximmix, speaking just loudly enough to give them something to listen to. "Did I tell you about the other day when I got my hand caught in this girl's butt pocket...."