Mental maps

AP and I once spoke of mental maps. I'm sure everyone knows the concept, but refers to it with different terms.

It's the idea that experiences and influences start making imprints on our minds right from our earliest developmental years. Partly genetic, partly cultivated. And gradually, over time, they accumulate in our minds, creating mental maps which determine our personalities, our tastes and preferencese, the kind of people we're drawn towards.

When we were talking about this all those years ago, AP and I had just read an article theorising that mental maps are fully formed by the time the child is 10. But now the more I think about it, the more I feel that our mental maps keep evolving and developing. With each new experience, each new adventure, the map shifts slightly. Over time, a river appears where there was an ocean, and a mountain where there was valley. Gradually, the landscape shifts and evolves and grows and matures.

With so much changing in my life around me, I find that more marked now than ever. Every once in a while, I have to pause and check in with myself, take stock of where I was, where I am, and where I'm going. And sometimes, my maps change so rapidly I feel like I'm caught in swirling waters, losing track of who I am. As though I don't really know myself anymore. With everything changing the way it is, how can I blame myself?

And how can I blame others, if they don't know me anymore either?