Oh no, I swallowed a fly

The weather was absolutely perfect when I got home from work yesterday, so I decided to meander down to the river.

The sky was overcast with clouds hanging thunderously low, but it wasn't raining. The air was charged with an electric current that sent a trill of adrenaline through me. The grass by the river was an unusually bright shade of green, so I kicked off my sandals and stepped onto it gingerly with my bare feet. I scrunched my toes and basked in the tickly sensation of the little blades of grass.

Across the river, the Manhattan skyline was blazing brightly with all the building lights on, and it cast an odd orangey glow on the dark clouds overhanging. A riverside breeze was picking up strength, and for a moment I thought I might have a Dorothy-in-Kansas moment and have to cling on to the lampost. But ultimately, the worst it did was tousle my hair.

I had plugged myself into my mp3 player as my invisible shield from the world. The promenade was relatively deserted, so I started singing out loud. There's nothing to beat singing out loud in public. Stereophonics was the flaveur du jour, so I sang to myself about handbags and gladrags and having a nice day.

Just as I was entering the final chorus of my tuneless rendition, I swallowed a fly. It just flew right into my mouth.

Stop. Gulp.

It reminded me of the time I once mistakenly swallowed a fly when I was young. Well, many years ago, but not young enough to blame the ignorance of childhood. It was early on a hot, sultry summer morning in India, and I was still dozing through the last remnants of sleep, when an incessant buzzing forced me to struggle awake. I opened an irritated eye to find a fly buzzing langourously in front of my face. Through the torpor of heat and sleep, I could not summon the energy to lift my arm and swat it away. Instead I decided to blow it away with a huff and a puff. Yes, we aren't always rational creatures, you know. I drew in a deep lungful of air so I could blow the fly away. I guess I drew in too deeply.

All of a sudden, the fly was gone. A quick internal check revealed that yes - I'd swallowed it! I jumped out of bed with a cough and a splutter, attempting in any possible way to get it out. But ultimately, I had to admit defeat and resorted to downing a large glass of water and washing it down.

This time, the episode was a lot less dramatic. I acted like a hardened fly-swallower. Just a gulp, a little panic, and an immediate stop to the singing.

Thank god for the stomach juices.